Donor Egg and Donor Embryo Journeys: Insights from a Fertility Therapist

In honor of World Mental Health Day 

At Shared Beginnings, we know that the journey to parenthood can be as emotionally complex as it is physically, logistically, and financially demanding, especially when it involves donor eggs or donor embryos. While the medical success rates for our programs are among the highest in the field, we also understand that emotional success is just as critical.

Whether you’re considering donor conception for the first time or have already begun the process, it’s normal to feel a range of emotions: grief, hope, confusion, excitement, and sometimes even guilt or shame. These feelings don’t mean you’re not ready. They mean you’re human.

To mark World Mental Health Day, we’re amplifying the conversation around fertility and mental health with insight from Rachel Eshel, PsyD, licensed psychologist who specializes in fertility-related counseling.

“When intended parents consider donor conception, it often brings up layered emotions—grief over genetic loss, anxiety about bonding, and concern about disclosure,” explains Dr. Eshel. “Part of my work is helping people honor their emotional experience without judgment, while also empowering them to move forward with clarity and confidence.”
— Rachel Eshel, PsyD, Triangle Psychology Center

Emotional Truths Behind Donor Conception

1. It’s okay to mourn the loss of a genetic connection.
Many people feel surprised by the depth of grief they feel, even if they’re simultaneously excited about moving forward. Therapy can provide a nonjudgmental space to process that grief and redefine what parenthood means to you.

2. Donor eggs and embryos can still bring deep connection.
Research and lived experience show that love, not genetics, defines family. Our intended parents frequently report profound attachment from the very first ultrasound. As Dr. Eshel puts it:

“Emotional bonding can begin long before birth, and it isn’t predicated on genetics. Parents often feel a deep sense of connection because they’ve chosen this path with intention and love. I have observed that the hardships faced by intended parents before they started down the path of donor conception can impact the experience of pregnancy and parenting, often in ways that deepen the experience. And it’s OK if a sense of connection to your future child or pregnancy does not happen immediately. Sometimes it takes time. Trauma, depression, relational style, and anxiety can impact bonding, but it is workable and treatable, especially with support from loved ones and sometimes also from a mental health professional.” 

3. Sharing your story is a personal and powerful choice.
While we generally encourage intended parents to be open and honest with their donor-conceived child about their genetic origins from a young age, how you talk with your child about this is deeply personal. Shared Beginnings and our partners like Dr. Eshel can help you explore how to approach this ongoing conversation in age-appropriate ways that support your child’s developing sense of self and the parent-child bond. 

Built-In Emotional Support

Unlike many fertility programs that outsource or overlook mental health, Shared Beginnings offers in-house mental health support and collaborates with professionals who specialize in the donor experience.

We believe every family-building journey should be supported holistically, with medical excellence, emotional care, and personalized guidance at every step.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, you’re not alone, and you don’t have to navigate this alone. 

We’re here to support the whole you: mind, body, and heart.

Let’s Talk.

Schedule a consultation today with our medically-trained team to explore your options and receive compassionate, expert support on your path to parenthood.

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